Шедевры в жанре резюме
Для тех кто не читает ru_learnenglish


My name is Willy Parker and I am a merciless writer by trade.

My words are so persuasive that I've gotten through life solely upon my letter writing abilities. I've been to college (copywriting), university (creative writing) and film school (screenwriting), and completed all three without paying a dime.

Not a single person called up for jury duty has ever served after hiring me to ghostwrite a letter to the sheriff pleading their case.

My style of writing mimics a repossessor storming the houses of the poor on Christmas Day. My ability to build people up and cut them down causes states to secede and slaves to revolt. My words force grown men to beg their mothers to redeploy ladders with which they may retreat back into the womb.

For writing as sharp as a fish hook in your eyeball, and just as powerful as a tool for invoking strokes, contact me. I can become anyone, support any idea and write in any form desired for the right price.

Note: I am not a "freelancer." Freelancers write with their vaginas. I write with a firm hand that rips out a person's throat, steps on it, sprinkles some salt, and then sews it back on.

Here's how it works:

1. No resumes or telephone calls. A ninja doesn't give out business cards.
2. No reference requests. Mussolini didn't need a co-signer.
3. To Ray Charles: this ad is my writing sample.
4. No product work. I finished with package copy for Maxi-pads a long time ago.
5. If you aren't firmly decided by the end of this ad, re-hitch the mule and move along.
6. $30 a page, paid upfront. And yes, I do write Harlequin Romance.
7. You pay. I get the job done. Betty Crocker couldn't make it simpler.

I do not work for commission, nor do I work for penny projects. I am Goebbels on steroids, and will meet your project with nothing less than total victory in mind.

Далее следуют контакты :)